Pregnancy - Full Throttle

It was about this time when I was pregnant with Anjali (34 weeks) that I reached my breaking point. And here we are again...short tempered, uncomfortable, and tired.

A week ago Monday, I noticed that I was becoming much more short tempered with the girls--quick to yell, and no calm explanations.

On Tuesday, as I was getting ready to leave to meet up with a friend at Chick-Fil-A for dinner, I ran into a kitchen cabinet door that I had left open, and nearly through the casserole dish I had in hand and started cursing up a storm.

On Wednesday, we went to the park for lunch with some friends from preschool, like we usually do. I am not one of the originators of the group--I've been tagging along for the last few months and was just starting to feel comfortable around the moms. We arrived late and Lacy took off for the slide right by my seat. I soon heard a little boy yelling at her "Get out of here. What are you doing here, etc. " just kind of picking on her. Lacy came to me afterwards crying and I told her to calm down, I'm sorry that boy wasn't being nice. Stay away from him and find some other nice kids to play with.
Lacy soon runs off with another friend to the next slide over, and I watch the little boy follow her over and again start yelling at her. This time there's a bunch of kids around. One little girl screams out "Lacy's mom, Lacy kicked (said boys name) in the stomache!" I start to get up to walk over there, the kids disperse except for yelling boy and Lacy. He continues to yell. I say to yelling boy, "Stop picking on her or I'm going to tell your mom." Except it came out like this:

"STOP PICKING ON HER OR I'M GOING TO TELL YOUR MOM." (all caps=yelling mad woman)

Then yelling boy says, "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT MY MOM LOOKS LIKE. YOU DON'T KNOW HER!"

Surprised with the attitude that was given back to me I respond "I'LL FIND OUT WHO YOUR MOM IS, I'LL ASK (little girl)'S MOM WHO YOUR MOM IS!"

I then snatch up Lacy and walk away. Lacy of course is crying. And I am immediately feeling the shame and guilt of getting into a yelling match with a 4 or 5 yr old boy. I don't know why I let that kid get my goat, but anyhow...the response I get back from little boys mom and the rest of the moms in the play group was loud whipserings and dirty looks, which of course made me shy away from a quick apology as to how inappropriate it was for me to raise my voice. Hey I know I was wrong to yell. And I should have made Lacy apologize for kicking the boy. BUT, I know that I'm totally hormonal cranky pregnant. I know that little boy had it in for Lacy and followed her around. I know I would have said the same thing in the same situation but in a much calmer tone, if I wasn't on the verge of throwing my own version of a 2-year-old tantrum.

As I drove home, I realized that I needed to take a break and ask Cliff for more help. I was able to schedule a temple appointment for some calming spritual meditation and a dinner date with Cliff. My parents were able to take the kids Friday night. Saturday, my mom made dinner for us. Sunday, Cliff gave me a priesthood blessing.

Monday: I woke up this morning feeling refreshed and renewed (but still tired and heavy!). After dropping Lacy off at preschool we went to Kiddie Gym. Class was over, and I threw Anjali in the car to play while I talked with my girlfriends. Anjali was having the time of her life playing in the van, which I think is a safe alternative to the parking lot. As I'm finishing up my conversation I hear my car honk. The honk that says that the car's locked. And yes, everything is in the car. Keys, wallet, cell phone. You name it. Kristen and I are trying to coach Anjali (my 18 month old monkey girl) to press the unlock button on the car. "press the button, Anj...no that one....yes press it." Anjali presses every single button EXCEPT the unlock button. Then we try the alternative "Can you unlock the car? See that stick? pull it up." Anjali responds by sticking out her tongue licking the lock and the window in front of us. Ok its time to call AAA--I opt NOT to have the fire department show up. AAA is very helpful--they put me on high priority, offer to call Cliff for me. The guy should be there in 10-15 minutes. We wait. In the mean time, Anjali has put on the hazard lights, I'm sure she knew this was an emergency situation and was of course very appropriate. She also pulls out all the tissues from the tissue box and "blows her nose" on every single tissue. As I said earlier, Anjali was totally clueless to the panic of the situation, and was really enjoying herself. The AAA guy shows up in less than 5 minutes. It takes him one minute to unlock the door. Anjali seems a bit startled by the alarm going off, but I quickly reset it. All is well. BUT I didn't flip out. I was actually laughing the whole entire time I'm talking to AAA over the phone. I wasn't angry at Anjali for locking the door. I wasn't angry with myself for doing something so dumb...Its moments like these that renew my faith in the power of the priesthood. I'm thankful for good friends (Thanks Kristen for staying with me through all the drama!). I'm thankful for Cliff. (He also didn't get mad at me, he just laughed with me.)